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Avalanche

by Jenny Owen Youngs

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1.
Avalanche 04:18
What I know is that I’m good At getting on then getting right back off the hook Making plans for someone else But every book I’ve ever held re-writes itself I get worn out on my favorite cycle Where I do something dumb and try to survive it When I try to say the things I can’t It comes out like an avalanche How else do I prove that I adore you Something about my savage heart That wants to tear your world apart And stitch it all right back together for you What you do just for me Is rake yourself across the coals that I can’t see You never ask for me to prove You just know I do the very same for you I get spit out facing problems sideways And I dig my fingers into the good things When I try to say the things I can’t It comes out like an avalanche How else do I prove that I adore you Something about my savage heart That wants to tear your world apart And stitch it all right back together for you For you Got plans for you Used to worry I was a goner Wanted just what I wanted Scraping down at the bottom Thought I’d never dig out When I try to say the things I can’t It comes out like an avalanche How else do I prove that I adore you Something about my savage heart That wants to tear your world apart And stitch it all right back together for you For you Got plans for you
2.
Broken but not anymore Ripped up on the living room floor I’m done making a mess When we undress There’s a mark on your body Where the knife went in And I can’t get around it And I won’t forget That I need what I wanted And it all begins At the place on your body Where the knife went knife went in Hold me, hold me close You’re the only one who knows You’re the only one I need So keep holding onto me Your lungs fill, then empty again It’s quiet in the big hotel bed Birds come singing their song We sing along There’s a mark on my body Where the knife went in Like a map to the memory Of who I’ve been Can’t erase what I started When I pulled you in To the place on my body Where the knife went knife went in Hold me, hold me close You’re the only one who knows You’re the only one I need So keep holding onto me You’re the light you’re the lantern And you shine right through I don’t know why you love me But thank God you do All I need’s what I wanted And it all begins At the place on your body Where the knife went knife went in
3.
Goldenrod 04:25
Remember we got so lost Up at your parents’ place Out in the goldenrod With the sun on your face We wandered around all day Shot off some flares at night Drinking til we felt saved But you know we were right I never said goodbye to you I never thought that I’d have to I never said goodbye to you I don’t know how I don’t know how We’d go driving around downtown Smoking in parking lots And letting the ash burn down On the ones we forgot Just taking the backroads fast Singing and laughing loud With the radio always on and Fading in, fading out I never said goodbye to you I never thought that I’d have to I never said goodbye to you I don’t know how I don’t know how Oh the way that you looked into me then I could put a frame around it I could hang it up Oh the way that you sang it to me then I’m listening But I’m out of luck You never felt a thing That’s what the paper said Your sister just losing it And the street glowing red As soon as the call came in I got the hell out of town I couldn’t stand to see them Put you into the ground I never said goodbye to you I never thought that I’d have to I never said goodbye to you I don’t know how I don’t know how
4.
Everglades 03:43
I know what I said but I was wrong, I was wrong You left when I said that Now you’re gone, I was wrong Couldn’t tell you what trip I was on When I was in the Everglades When I was in the Everglades Caught a lotta shade Can’t remember everything I tell the truth but in between I say a lot of things I don’t mean Don’t know what you read but It’s a lie, it’s a lie Don’t know what they said but It’s a lie, it’s a dirty rotten lie This mark won’t wash away, I don’t know why When I was in the Everglades When I was in the Everglades Caught a lotta shade I can’t remember everything I tell the truth but in between I say a lot of things I don’t mean Got whiplash trying to look back In the sawgrass, what an awful mess Hit me fast, just like glass I shatter, doesn’t matter anyway Scrambling to get your story straight When I was in the Everglades When I was in the Everglades When I was in the Everglades When I was in the Everglades
5.
Got a retainer It doesn’t fit now But I had teeth once Different from these ones I got a loaner Out in the driveway I lost my own car She’s strewn cross the highway Gimme a reason Gimme me a footnote Tell me I’m yours Or tell me that I won’t Be in the morning When I’m up early Telling you straight That I meant to get dirty Bury me slowly I got a long way left to go I’m feeling mostly One hell of a pull from down below I hid in the bathroom Next to my brother While I was listening To sounds of my mother Learning the lesson Somebody taught him Time out of mind But that wheel keeps on turning I know what you’re thinking I know what you do I got a lot riding on you I prayed to God: Don’t let me grow to be The bottomless monster That I have seen Bury me slowly I got a long way left to go I’m feeling mostly One hell of a pull from down below Now I am quiet No one can hear me Faded to nothing Barely a memory But I’ll be up early Just like I said so Looking for reasons Looking for footnotes No one believes me But I think I’m good I think I’m worth it And I wish you could Pick me up right here Speed through the stoplights And don’t stop driving Til we get all right
6.
City livin’s mighty close I wanna know what I can’t know I seen you from across the street Chances are, we’ll never meet But oh, when I fall, I fall good and I fall hard Can’t tell between what I need and what I want Goodbye sunshine, I see straight to the heart of it We slide right by then go back to the start of it Maybe we’ll get even closer the next time around One day you might grab a seat On the empty barstool next to me Or you’ll drop your books and I pick em up When I hand them back, our fingers touch Oh, when I fall, I fall good and I fall hard Can’t tell between what I need and what I want Goodbye sunshine, I see straight to the heart of it We slide right by then go back to the start of it Maybe we’ll get even closer the next time around Maybe we’ll get even closer the next time around As I lay me down to sleep I pray that I might dream so deep Of all the things that might have been Or that right now might be happening Goodbye sunshine, I see straight to the heart of it We slide right by then go back to the start of it Maybe we’ll get even closer the next time around Maybe we’ll get even closer the next time around
7.
Got a memory to amputate Digging for the novocaine Looking for some relief Doctor of ontology Took some wanting out of me Like he was pulling teeth I don’t know why I keep losing time The sun was high until I blinked Look up, it’s later than you think Got a finger to my wrist again Thrumming underneath the skin Is singing be here now Can you point me to a simple thing Loosen up my suffering Because I don’t know how I don’t know why I keep losing time The sun was high until I blinked Look up, it’s later than you think Flattening the parallax Numbing out behind the glass Waiting til the feelings pass Way down in the mirror screen Nothing got ahold of me Turned me inside out Finally resurfacing I mostly don’t know where I’ve been Or what I thought about I don’t know why I keep losing time The sun was high until I blinked Look up, it’s later than you think
8.
Salt 04:51
I gotta be honest, we have a problem Got a call from the bar in Clarion You left your wallet, career alcoholic Say every day is your last day on the job Anybody anybody worth their salt Knows the arrow hurts worse when you pull it back out Get me out of the midwest, we put your mom into hospice Let me know when you’re ready to go I’m gonna do what I do best and try to forget this mess Doesn’t make any real sense I know Anybody anybody worth their salt Knows the arrow hurts worse when you pull it back out If I could make enough money, I’d move out to the country Where no one can bother me I think it just hit me, I don’t want you to come with me And all I can say is we’ll see Anybody anybody worth their salt Knows the arrow hurts worse when you pull it back out
9.
From the first bite on the first night I could tell I would never be done Couldn’t get right in a past life Trying to hold what was already gone There’s a darkness looking in Like a kind of spiraling Holding hands at the edge You make a little whirlpool in my heart Tiny constellations pulled apart Killing what I can’t control, I’m fine I love you I’m ready to set it on fire Like a moth to the moon I get carried away Chasing the light you throw before me Just as often I choose getting lost in the flame To feel the heat of something holy There’s a darkness looking in Like a kind of spiraling Holding hands at the edge You make a little whirlpool in my heart Tiny constellations pulled apart Killing what I can’t control, I’m fine I love you I’m ready to set it on fire You make a little whirlpool in my heart Tiny constellations pulled apart Killing what I can’t control, I’m fine I love you I’m ready to set it on fire I love you I’m ready to set it on fire
10.
Now comes the mystery Not like I thought it’d be Feeling my pockets now For missing keys I don’t know what to do To say goodbye to you Maybe another day, I’ll know why So I been circling Looking for anything That I could say to you To dull the edge Am I avoiding it How to forgive, forget Maybe another day, I’ll know why Somehow I felt you go Before I heard it though I know you’re on your way From where you came Beat of an archer’s heart Back up among the stars Maybe another day, I’ll know why Maybe another day, I’ll know why

about

In the decade since Jenny Owen Youngs last released a full-length album, she’s toured the world, co-written a #1 hit single, launched a wildly popular podcast, landed a book deal, placed songs in a slew of films and television series, moved from Brooklyn to Los Angeles to coastal Maine, and gotten married, divorced, and married again. She’s done everything, it seems, except release another album….until now.

Avalanche, Youngs’ exceptional debut for Yep Roc records, offers up an achingly beautiful exploration of loss, resilience, and growth from an artist who’s experienced more than her fair share of each in recent years. Produced by Josh Kaufman (Bonny Light Horseman, The Hold Steady, Cassandra Jenkins, Josh Ritter) and written with a series of friends including S. Carey, Madi Diaz, The Antlers’ Peter Silberman, and Christian Lee Hutson, the songs are deceptively serene here, layering Youngs’ infectious pop sensibilities atop lush, dreamy arrangements that often belie the swift emotional currents lurking underneath. Her performances, meanwhile, are riveting and nuanced to match, gentle yet insistent as they reckon with the pain of regret and the joy of redemption, sometimes in the very same breath. The result is the most raw and arresting release of Youngs’ remarkable career, a brutally honest, deeply vulnerable work of self-reflection that learns to make peace with the past as it transforms doubt and grief into hope and transcendence.

credits

released September 22, 2023

Produced by Josh Kaufman
Engineered, Mixed, and Mastered by D. James Goodwin at Isokon in Kingston, NY
"Set It On Fire" engineered by Josh Kaufman at The Boom Boom Room in Kingston, NY
Additional engineering by Gillian Pelkonen

Jenny Owen Youngs: Vocals, guitars
Josh Kaufman: Guitars, bass, piano, synthesizers, organs, drums, percussion, drum machines
Matt Barrick: Drums, percussion
Christian Lee Hutson: Background vocals on “Salt”

Christian Lee Hutson appears courtesy of ANTI-

All photographs by Josh Goleman
Design by Nathan Golub and Jenny Owen Youngs


2023, 2023 Yep Roc, LLC

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Jenny Owen Youngs Maine

Avalanche, Youngs’ exceptional debut for Yep Roc records, offers up an achingly beautiful exploration of loss, resilience, and growth from an artist who’s experienced more than her fair share of each in recent years. The songs are deceptively serene, layering Youngs’ infectious pop sensibilities atop lush, dreamy arrangements that often belie the swift emotional currents lurking underneath. ... more

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